In your life, you may make small mistakes, or sometimes a big mistake, whether from ignorance, not being prepared, bad choices, that weren’t well thought out, at least by you, etc., but you should not let the mistakes you have made, become indicative of your life, as a whole, when you can change, and be …. Wholistically well.
People do change and should be allowed to or accepted for the changes they have made. Even though you might not be able to make up for the mistakes you have made, all the way, you can not make them anymore.
If anyone has a problem with acceptance of you, after you have a made a mistake, they may need to take a look at their own life, and the mistakes they have made, and got forgiven for.
Forgiveness and correction does not mean
· you can keep on making mistakes, esp. the same ones, or
· Not make an effort to live better, of your own fruition.
For instance, you may clean your house, and at first it is trial and error, but you may learn to do a good job, with experience and not make the same mistakes, through the effort to be better at it. You may also get products to use, causing a change in how you do the work, being easier, more efficient, and more error free, or less hard on you, so you are less likely to make a mistake. You may not want to go through the correction process again at least of that mistake, or you may want the correction to hold tight and be worth it, less taxing on you to do the job, etc…
So, why should someone say,
· that person does not clean their house good, when…. have they been their lately, been with you while you were cleaning?
o It is not hard to see how this can relate to people holding grudges and not forgiving, when clearly, it is not the fault of the person they are holding it against.
o Maybe the person who is holding the grudge launched a whole career or campaign, based on the person’s fault, so you can see how they clearly have no life.
o To hold the past against someone, whom you may not have discussed your issue with them, and if something bad results, to them, you might have to hold yourself to blame, and get the same treatment likewise, for having a narrow mind.
That may also apply to someone whom they may call crazy or disabled in some way. The person could have changed, gone through a lot of therapy, on their own, or sought help, and made miraculous strides, taken up natural therapies that worked wonders in detoxing their system including their mind.
· Or to treat someone, as if they are still a baby and have learned nothing, have no mind of their own, or cannot think for their self or as good as you, or even better, in a good way, can really limit you having a positive relationship with them.
· Or to unfairly critique someone, who clearly has a lot less advantages than you, on the same level as you, would not be entirely fair, not considering all the disadvantages they may have, as well as your lack of support, and really may make you look like a bad person.
o For instance, one person is given a lot of trash and expected to make a home with it, while the other person is given an unlimited supply of credit and brand new resources…. What basis are you going to make your judgment? If you judge them on their cleanliness, you may have to take into consideration, all the disadvantages the person is having, who is given trash, of remaking the trash, like recycling it, and compare them to someone in the white house?
o How would you like it if someone trying to judge you, by the lack of support you are given, next to someone who has been given everything they could ask for, support wise, job, mate, family, nice home, credit, education, supportive friends, etc.?
If they think they are assigned to you or are looking for some free pass, then they should be careful and treat you with respect, no matter what you have, and not judge you, on hearsay, without a fair trial. Even then, a person can be being judged on only one thing that you might have already changed, so are they wasting their time? Yours? By putting you in judgment? Or are you judgment them, trying to get them to unpin you from a judgment they are trying to get rich off of?
Do you think that rash or unfair judgments will hold them captive in that state? If so, then that does not say much for you, as a friend, past, present, or future. Do you think it will make them not want to change, or give up on change, if the know it will make you mad, or just put them always on the defensive? All very bad reasons to hold someone in unfair judgment, and why that labels can sometimes cause lawsuits of libel and slander.
Bullies may thrive on judgment to be able to punish you, but you have the power to change, more than they have the right to punish, as they wallow in their own sins. whoever is saving them, is saving the wrong one, if they are not going to change faster than what they are.
So, you can change, sometimes very easily, other times, only time will tell, but at least you can make the most of what you have.
God is not finished with you yet.